It’s official I think I am actually going to give up dating for a while! The idea has been on my mind for a little while since my last relationship, but I’ve always been a bit of a loser and have jumped straight back into the “dating scene”. Every time I jump in head first or however I
bloody jump in something always goes wrong!
So I’ve decided to go into a few reasons why I think my dating life is awful and why its led to the no dating vibe in hope someone else knows how it feels!
My Choice of Men
My choice in men has COMPLETELY changed (and let me tell you for the
I used to go for the sweet little nerdy men who love their computer games and wouldn’t hurt a fly, but now the more they ruin my life, the better and more attractive they seem? My brain is shocking, like WTF is wrong with me?
Realistically I just want someone who is a little nerdy, doesn’t like the sesh and has a heart of gold. But recently I’ve found someone who is a little bit in the middle and I really do not know what on earth to do! He is not that nerdy, has a heart of gold but does like the sesh a tiny winy bit and I don’t think I’m ready to have to put up with that? But then again who I am to judge or change someone because part of them isn’t what I want? But also why shouldn’t we all get what we want?
Errghhhh so frustrating!
My Personal Life
I’ve always not been the very “stable” type especially when it comes to my mental health, but recently my personal life has got a WHOLE lot harder.
I mean general life has been getting in my way such as the usual “adult” problems like money, working too much and not being able to fit time in for everything especially friends. However like I’ve said before my friends are so understanding and get adult life is shocking. Especially Mr Lucas Packer who is a beauty and will do stupid little errands with me, or just come round for cupper and cake – he’s the perfect bestie!
However, my Granddad is so poorly at the moment and its a lot to take in for the whole family. I cannot even imagine what it feels like to be in his situation. I’ve been spending as much time as I can at their house trying to just be there and hopefully (when they’ve not had enough of me) cheer them up!
I just feel like throwing a boyfriend in the mix would be WAY to much as I’ve got a lot to focus on as it is, let alone having a man and getting to know them!
My Mental Health
My mental health always seems to go on the decline when I start talking to someone or the first couple of months of a relationship. I just get really insecure and think about all the worst possible outcomes!
I just feel I have to prove myself and show them why they should date me. I don’t think I have EVER thought maybe they could just like me for me? I just worry I’m not good enough for that person although not to be big-headed but I blatantly am!
I also get attached way to quickly then I should. I feel like they can just tell me what I want to hear and then that’s that I’m ready to
bloody marry them! I find that by the time I work out they are not for me, I am into deep and screwed myself over.
I recently found a quote by Chris McGeown (a well known writer), which really helped me finally decide maybe its time to stop dating for a while and work on myself?
“Why would you want to be his whole world when a universe blooms inside you?”– Chris McGeown
Well that’s me done – let me know if you have experienced the same kind of scenarios!
All my love,