If you said 4 off you have a lot of faith in me and are completely WRONG (sorry!).
I indeed put 4 fucking pounds on!
In all fairness I have ate my entire body weight in junk food especially cakes. I’ve had a lot going on at work this week including being open extra days and charity events! Who can say no to 5+ cakes when the money goes to charity? Not bloody me!
I thought I would share the bad parts of dieting also as believe you me it’s not all breezy as it can look advertised or what not!
So if your having a bad week on your diet – you’ve got 1000 more weeks to be good… be naughty and love it!
Today I went to my first session of Talking Therapies! Talking Therapies (or now known as VitaMinds) is a mental health organisation that offers group & individual therapies across Bristol, North Somerset and South Glos!
So after a 45 minute phone assessment, the assessor thought it would be worth me going on an “Anxiety Management Course”. So I thought I would share it all with you in case some of the content may help, but also as a way for me to re-cap today’s session! So here goes!
What is Anxiety?
So I actually learned that anxiety is a normal part of everyone’s life, but it only becomes a “disorder” when it actually effects your day-to-day life! The therapist put the idea forward that anxiety was formed when you overestimate the threat and how serious it may be, but you also underestimate your own ability to cope – I really really connected with this as I always find myself saying “I cannot cope” or something along them lines!
There is sooo many different types of anxiety as well, so I’ve listed them below with a little explanation (as it would take forever to go into so much detail about them all, so sorry in advance!)
Generalised Anxiety Disorder
Worrying too much
Specific distressing symptoms which cause you to avoid certain situations.
Fear of an object or situation
Fear of being judged negatively by others
Unwanted thoughts that enter you head that you feel you must act on
Physical symptoms that peak and only last a short time
Worrying about your health
What is Stress?
Stress again is a normal part of life, but this time stress can lead to anxiety or vise versa! I definitely feel that my anxiety originates from all the stress I have going on in my life at the moment!
We discussed the analogy of a “Stress Bucket”. At this point I was thinking “a bucket? I need a fucking well”. Anyway, swiftly moving on haha – the analogy suggests that the bucket (you) fills with rain (stress). In this bucket you are supposed to have a tap (a stress release) to stop it overflowing – I really hope this makes some form of sense!
Anyway the idea is that you need to take some YOU time to de-stress. Personally I find it quite hard to justify having some “me” time. Normal gals will have their hair, eyelashes or nails done to relax but I’ve had this luxury for so long that I find it such a chore to have it all done, but part of me wants it done so I’m not 110% sure if that even counts? Definitely food for thought!
So after the first session I feel I have learnt quite a fair bit! Next week we will be looking at the physical effects of anxiety and how to deal with this, so I shall let you know how it goes!
I hope this comes in useful, even if its just for one of you.
It’s official I think I am actually going to give up dating for a while! The idea has been on my mind for a little while since my last relationship, but I’ve always been a bit of a loser and have jumped straight back into the “dating scene”. Every time I jump in head first or however I bloody jump in something always goes wrong!
So I’ve decided to go into a few reasons why I think my dating life is awful and why its led to the no dating vibe in hope someone else knows how it feels! Here goes!
My Choice of Men
My choice in men has COMPLETELY changed (and let me tell you for the fucking worse).
I used to go for the sweet little nerdy men who love their computer games and wouldn’t hurt a fly, but now the more they ruin my life, the better and more attractive they seem? My brain is shocking, like WTF is wrong with me?
Realistically I just want someone who is a little nerdy, doesn’t like the sesh and has a heart of gold. But recently I’ve found someone who is a little bit in the middle and I really do not know what on earth to do! He is not that nerdy, has a heart of gold but does like the sesh a tiny winy bit and I don’t think I’m ready to have to put up with that? But then again who I am to judge or change someone because part of them isn’t what I want? But also why shouldn’t we all get what we want?
Errghhhh so frustrating!
My Personal Life
I’ve always not been the very “stable” type especially when it comes to my mental health, but recently my personal life has got a WHOLE lot harder.
I mean general life has been getting in my way such as the usual “adult” problems like money, working too much and not being able to fit time in for everything especially friends. However like I’ve said before my friends are so understanding and get adult life is shocking. Especially Mr Lucas Packer who is a beauty and will do stupid little errands with me, or just come round for cupper and cake – he’s the perfect bestie!
However, my Granddad is so poorly at the moment and its a lot to take in for the whole family. I cannot even imagine what it feels like to be in his situation. I’ve been spending as much time as I can at their house trying to just be there and hopefully (when they’ve not had enough of me) cheer them up!
I just feel like throwing a boyfriend in the mix would be WAY to much as I’ve got a lot to focus on as it is, let alone having a man and getting to know them!
My Mental Health
My mental health always seems to go on the decline when I start talking to someone or the first couple of months of a relationship. I just get really insecure and think about all the worst possible outcomes!
I just feel I have to prove myself and show them why they should date me. I don’t think I have EVER thought maybe they could just like me for me? I just worry I’m not good enough for that person although not to be big-headed but I blatantly am!
I also get attached way to quickly then I should. I feel like they can just tell me what I want to hear and then that’s that I’m ready to bloody marry them! I find that by the time I work out they are not for me, I am into deep and screwed myself over.
I recently found a quote by Chris McGeown (a well known writer), which really helped me finally decide maybe its time to stop dating for a while and work on myself?
“Why would you want to be his whole world when a universe blooms inside you?”
– Chris McGeown
Well that’s me done – let me know if you have experienced the same kind of scenarios!
So last week I done a little blog post on re-joining SW and now the results of the first week are in!
If I am honest I feel a little like a deserve it for once? I turned down 2 lots of takeaway this weekend, didn’t indulge in no chocolate AND went to the gym 3 times! If that’s not dedication, I bloody don’t know what is anymore!
I did have the usual anxious thoughts I usually get with SW: “What if I haven’t lost anything?“, “What if someone sees the scales?” and “What the hell have I done wrong if I put on any weight?”. Luckily enough the SW group I go too is SUPER supportive – everyone is in the same boat and are okay to voice it. But also my colleagues/friends are so supportive, they try not to eat biscuits and my trigger foods around me, which I’m so so so thankful for. I also had one of the GP’s (I work as an administrator in a GP surgery) sniff a doughnut with me so we would be in the situation of trying to be good! What would I do without them? (yes you are right if you’re thinking eat lots of doughnuts!)
I’m not going to lie I am SUPER nervous for next weeks weigh-in. 5lbs off is a lot to top but also a lot to keep off? However going in with that mindset I know will get me absolutely no where!
So I am going in with a fresh head (after treating myself to a cheeky chocolate bar after weigh in – shhhhhh), and maybe try and hit another 2lbs to make it half a stone? Wish me luck!
I have decided to add a bit more to my dating page, and thought we may as well start with the dilemmas I’ve experienced whilst dating! I can already tell you that they have not been fun, but I’ve definitely learnt a lot about myself and dating in general.
So lets give this a shot!
Number One: The Friends.
I find that in relationships, friends (either yours or theirs) unfortunately play a MASSIVE part! Thankfully, I am so lucky that my friends are so supportive and know what lines not to cross. However, after all my relationships I have discovered that not all friends are like mine.
My first serious relationship ended in A LOT of tears and heartache due to his friends sticking their nose in places it was not needed or definitely not wanted. My ex always listened and put them first, which for them was the perfect scenario (surprise surprise!). However, for me it obviously wasn’t perfect as after a year and a half I kind of wanted to come first as he did with me?
In my last two relationships I’ve dated men that had women as best friends. Don’t get me wrong I am all about men and women being besties, but not when none of them know how to be just “friends”. My last ex sent pictures of his penis to his “bestie” – like come the fuck on, how did that even come into a conversation between them? Was it a typical “my boyfriends being a knob” and him replying “oh well, here’s a picture of mine”. GET IN THE FUCKING BIN!
Number Two: Their “Extracurricular Activities”.
I have found at the moment that most of the men I have met like “The Sesh”. I mean having a few drinks is okay, but 10 pints and some cocaine later? That’s a little too extreme for my liking especially seeing as I don’t drink let alone do drugs.
Some people I have been on dates with or liked have been involved with drink and drugs. I’ve found that unless you are into the same kind of thing then it will NEVER work! Their priorities will always lie on their next drink or when their next fix will be. I just feel that if they use drink or drugs to cope now then imagine what will happen in 10 years time when they cannot physically cope without it?
Number Three: Being Too Needy
This one is a little bit on me I’m not going to lie.
I’ve found that I get attached VERY quickly and easily to people especially when it comes to men.
I just want to be with them all the time or speaking to them? I know this is so off putting but I just cannot help myself. I just feel that if they’re not speaking to or with me, they’re speaking with other people? Which is obviously a massive reflection on previous experiences alongside having no confidence (don’t worry I am aware of the situation!).
I feel (as sad as it sounds) I just want to be loved as much as I love. I put all my love, time and effort into relationships so early that maybe that’s where I am going wrong, as they say “Treat them mean, Keep them keen?“.
What I Have Learnt.
Although all three of these dilemmas haven’t been easy, I have 110% learnt so much about myself in the process.
Experiencing all of the above has allowed me to actually know what I want from a relationship, how I should be treated and how I need to work on myself.
Surely the next relationship should pass with flying colours?
Thanks for giving this a read guys – please let me know any dilemmas you’ve experienced!
Hey lovelies, I have decided to rejoin Slimming World and thought it would be nice to share my journey with you all! I first joined SW last year where I managed to lose just over 1 and a half stone by staying on plan (if Chinese takeaway & the weekends aren’t included – shhhh).
However when you’re mentally down, it’s VERY hard to keep your physical health up. I slowly started to get back into the habit of eating when I was down and using food as a way to cope! The weight started to pile back on (and not even bloody slowly) and again noticed my clothes to be just as snug as when I started.
So I thought its time to do something about it, not only to fit into my clothes again but to have 1-2 hours a week to go somewhere for ME, and only me. I hope that having some me time will improve my mental health (alongside the benefit of losing weight) but we will see!
Personally I find mental health quite a daunting subject to speak about so I thought maybe it’s time to stop being so scared of the stigma and just go for it?
I have struggled with my mental health since I can pretty much remember. The struggle started in secondary school (where most things unfortunately do!) where I was bullied for being overweight. It then carried on throughout my teenagers years due to the pressures of GCSEs and A-Levels, but also dating. Which leads me to the right here and now, where I have a full time job and somehow believe it or not am classed as an “adult”? I mean I was told adult life was hard but not this bloody hard!
So I have came here to share my thoughts and feelings in hope someone can relate!
I’m not going to lie I was going to call this section “50 First Dates” – however I quickly came to the realisation that I have not been on 50 first dates as I haven’t or still don’t know 50 people I actually do like (let alone fancy them!).
All jokes aside I have been had some awful dates & shitty relationships. I hope that speaking out about my experiences will make others question or speak out about theirs, but also realise that things will get better and you’re not the only person to feel the way you are.
I have been toying with the idea of starting a blog for a while now, but I wasn’t confident in doing so! I was asking myself the usual questions “Will anyone even read it? Will I make a difference? What on earth would I write about that’s interesting?” but then I thought why not – I’ll just do me and see what happens!
I have decided to try and focus on a few daunting subjects; mental health, dating, and general confidence and self-esteem (all of which I have majorly struggled with and still do!). However I do have a cheeky little food category on here too – as I’m sure you’ll come to realise I am a major foodie!
I’ve decided to focus more on the content of what I will be writing then the figures and rubbish that comes with blogs – I would rather one person fully appreciate a post then 10 who don’t take anything from it!