If you said 4 off you have a lot of faith in me and are completely WRONG (sorry!).
I indeed put 4 fucking pounds on!
In all fairness I have ate my entire body weight in junk food especially cakes. I’ve had a lot going on at work this week including being open extra days and charity events! Who can say no to 5+ cakes when the money goes to charity? Not bloody me!
I thought I would share the bad parts of dieting also as believe you me it’s not all breezy as it can look advertised or what not!
So if your having a bad week on your diet – you’ve got 1000 more weeks to be good… be naughty and love it!
It’s official I think I am actually going to give up dating for a while! The idea has been on my mind for a little while since my last relationship, but I’ve always been a bit of a loser and have jumped straight back into the “dating scene”. Every time I jump in head first or however I bloody jump in something always goes wrong!
So I’ve decided to go into a few reasons why I think my dating life is awful and why its led to the no dating vibe in hope someone else knows how it feels! Here goes!
My Choice of Men
My choice in men has COMPLETELY changed (and let me tell you for the fucking worse).
I used to go for the sweet little nerdy men who love their computer games and wouldn’t hurt a fly, but now the more they ruin my life, the better and more attractive they seem? My brain is shocking, like WTF is wrong with me?
Realistically I just want someone who is a little nerdy, doesn’t like the sesh and has a heart of gold. But recently I’ve found someone who is a little bit in the middle and I really do not know what on earth to do! He is not that nerdy, has a heart of gold but does like the sesh a tiny winy bit and I don’t think I’m ready to have to put up with that? But then again who I am to judge or change someone because part of them isn’t what I want? But also why shouldn’t we all get what we want?
Errghhhh so frustrating!
My Personal Life
I’ve always not been the very “stable” type especially when it comes to my mental health, but recently my personal life has got a WHOLE lot harder.
I mean general life has been getting in my way such as the usual “adult” problems like money, working too much and not being able to fit time in for everything especially friends. However like I’ve said before my friends are so understanding and get adult life is shocking. Especially Mr Lucas Packer who is a beauty and will do stupid little errands with me, or just come round for cupper and cake – he’s the perfect bestie!
However, my Granddad is so poorly at the moment and its a lot to take in for the whole family. I cannot even imagine what it feels like to be in his situation. I’ve been spending as much time as I can at their house trying to just be there and hopefully (when they’ve not had enough of me) cheer them up!
I just feel like throwing a boyfriend in the mix would be WAY to much as I’ve got a lot to focus on as it is, let alone having a man and getting to know them!
My Mental Health
My mental health always seems to go on the decline when I start talking to someone or the first couple of months of a relationship. I just get really insecure and think about all the worst possible outcomes!
I just feel I have to prove myself and show them why they should date me. I don’t think I have EVER thought maybe they could just like me for me? I just worry I’m not good enough for that person although not to be big-headed but I blatantly am!
I also get attached way to quickly then I should. I feel like they can just tell me what I want to hear and then that’s that I’m ready to bloody marry them! I find that by the time I work out they are not for me, I am into deep and screwed myself over.
I recently found a quote by Chris McGeown (a well known writer), which really helped me finally decide maybe its time to stop dating for a while and work on myself?
“Why would you want to be his whole world when a universe blooms inside you?”
– Chris McGeown
Well that’s me done – let me know if you have experienced the same kind of scenarios!
So last week I done a little blog post on re-joining SW and now the results of the first week are in!
If I am honest I feel a little like a deserve it for once? I turned down 2 lots of takeaway this weekend, didn’t indulge in no chocolate AND went to the gym 3 times! If that’s not dedication, I bloody don’t know what is anymore!
I did have the usual anxious thoughts I usually get with SW: “What if I haven’t lost anything?“, “What if someone sees the scales?” and “What the hell have I done wrong if I put on any weight?”. Luckily enough the SW group I go too is SUPER supportive – everyone is in the same boat and are okay to voice it. But also my colleagues/friends are so supportive, they try not to eat biscuits and my trigger foods around me, which I’m so so so thankful for. I also had one of the GP’s (I work as an administrator in a GP surgery) sniff a doughnut with me so we would be in the situation of trying to be good! What would I do without them? (yes you are right if you’re thinking eat lots of doughnuts!)
I’m not going to lie I am SUPER nervous for next weeks weigh-in. 5lbs off is a lot to top but also a lot to keep off? However going in with that mindset I know will get me absolutely no where!
So I am going in with a fresh head (after treating myself to a cheeky chocolate bar after weigh in – shhhhhh), and maybe try and hit another 2lbs to make it half a stone? Wish me luck!
I have been toying with the idea of starting a blog for a while now, but I wasn’t confident in doing so! I was asking myself the usual questions “Will anyone even read it? Will I make a difference? What on earth would I write about that’s interesting?” but then I thought why not – I’ll just do me and see what happens!
I have decided to try and focus on a few daunting subjects; mental health, dating, and general confidence and self-esteem (all of which I have majorly struggled with and still do!). However I do have a cheeky little food category on here too – as I’m sure you’ll come to realise I am a major foodie!
I’ve decided to focus more on the content of what I will be writing then the figures and rubbish that comes with blogs – I would rather one person fully appreciate a post then 10 who don’t take anything from it!